Michelle Ray

Business and Leadership Keynote Speaker

Call Now: 1-877-773-2561
Book Michelle

personal leadership

Drama in the workplace: Are you ready and willing to end it now?

by

Understanding and managing drama in the workplace is a concern shared by leaders and individuals alike. Not only is it emotionally draining, the cost and consequences cannot be understated. In fact, one of the key reasons for soaring levels of workplace disengagement links directly to the existence of dysfunctional workplace relationships.

Drama occurs because we are emotional beings. We have a desire for self-expression and unfortunately, due to stress and overwhelm, we all have the capacity to display the worst version of ourselves from time to time. However, some of our colleagues and managers not only HAVE problems, they ARE problems. And many of them don’t realize the effect of their theatrics and emotional outbursts because they are operating in a state of oblivion…constantly reacting to workplace pressures, personality triggers or stressors that are occurring in their personal and professional lives, with little awareness of the impact of such behaviours on a larger scale.

The big questions that demands answers are these: Why does drama persist and why does it escalate? Here are five explanations:

1. At a very basic level, many people actual enjoy the show…either as a participant or a spectator. After all, life would be pretty dull and work would be very boring if there were no drama; nothing to gossip about? Let’s be honest, many of us willingly contribute to the juiciness of a good story by partaking in the gossip in the first place, even if we don’t spread it ourselves.

2. Drama also manifests on a regular basis because accountability isn’t taught or understood. It is often easier to blame others and share in the misery rather than accept responsibility, even if we do not know all the facts. Pointing the finger in the other direction requires very little effort.

3. Leaders don’t want to, or don’t know how to deal with it. This is one of the most common workplace demotivators. Sadly, a lack of action builds resentment amongst those who desperately want their leadership to deal with these people issues. As a result, those who once felt engaged and happy will slowly but surely find that the dysfunctional atmosphere taking a toll on their level of performance and satisfaction.

4. Organizations may invest in core technical skills or training, however the interpersonal skills that are essential when it comes to managing drama and conflict are lacking. Practicing outstanding communication skills in the face of such challenges can make the world of difference, not only to one’s peace of mind, but to the organization’s bottom line. When people feel disengaged and disconnected, when they do not feel inclined to express their concerns, absenteeism increases, turnover escalates and business declines as a result.

5. High morale is a low priority. At all levels, everyone feels the increasing pressure of managing their daily workload. As a result, paying attention to the human element slowly becomes neglected. Yet, this is precisely the issue that necessitates the greatest consideration. In addition, it is fascinating to note this is the one area that is within an organization’s control: the atmosphere within its own walls.

Based in Vancouver, Canada, Michelle Ray is a leadership expert who helps individuals and organizations succeed and take the lead. Her keynote presentation and workshop: No More Drama! How to Build High Engagement, High Morale and a Happier Workplace will be offered as a one-hour, complimentary webinar on June 27.

“Money doesn’t talk…It swears”

by

“Money doesn’t talk…It swears” – Bob Dylan

In my upcoming book, “Lead Yourself First”, I dedicate several chapters to the subject of values. Values drive our behaviour and decisions, as well as our professional and personal relationships. Making values – based decisions in business and life aren’t always easy, even when we feel that we know ourselves well. One of the most difficult areas pertains to money and finances, especially if we find ourselves at the crossroads regarding career change or making an investment in a new business venture. Although there are some simple truths such as having your finances in order prior to taking such bold steps, conversations around money are often emotionally- charged due to the fact that our values also come into play.  Therefore, the subject isn’t merely about numbers, being practical or even logical.  Going through the process of ascertaining what lies behind the rationale to leave a job or stay, to invest or not to invest; to save or spend is an important exercise because we discover more about what is actually influencing such choices. In addition, the manner in which we justify our course of action is also a reflection of our principles.

The financial values dilemma is not only felt at an individual level. It happens in corporations on a daily basis. If you listen closely, you will hear people frequently professing values-laden statements regarding their workplace or direction of their organization. It isn’t unusual for leaders to experience conflict in this arena, especially during these times of uncertainty. While working with one client recently, one member of the senior leadership team was frustrated due to the push-back he was experiencing from his colleagues. He wished to maintain the status quo in terms of staff retention…in contrast to a number of his peers who he felt were reacting by taking an ultra cautious approach; entertaining cutbacks and terminations. Critical business decisions such as these may appear to be based on fiscal evidence. However, the values of a core leadership team are often driving the process.

Is it possible to be completely objective regarding where one may stand on financial values, or indeed our entire values system?  The challenge lies in the fact that we have all been influenced in varying degrees by the standards of others, be they family members, peers, associates, coaches or well-intended friends. Therefore, the sample inventory exercise below will reveal the extent to which you have allowed yourself  to be governed by accepted morals or ethics that perhaps hinder your professional and personal direction. There are no “right” or “wrong” answers. Rather, your responses reflect your current position and beliefs and illuminate information regarding your financial values that my surprise you. 

Values inventory clarification – Money

  1. What does financial freedom represent to you?
  2.  Do you subscribe to a scarcity or abundance mentality?
  3.  Were you taught to manage your money at an early age?
  4. When you think of the term “financially responsible”, how would you define it?
  5. What were some of the prevailing attitudes around money in your family?
  6. How has the recent economic volatility impacted your career? If you have not been affected directly, have you witnessed the effect on colleagues, business associates, and clients?

Leading yourself first in your organization, your career and your life requires clarity around questions such as these. Can you lead your team with confidence regarding business decisions that impact them directly? Do you trust yourself to take the necessary commercial risk to grow your business into a viable entity? Are you ready to take the leap of faith associated with a career change? When we truly understand that our values underpin everything about us that makes us tick, we are able to approach the crossroads with greater conviction.

Michelle’s book, “Lead Yourself First”  is due for worldwide release this year.

Where is your head? It matters more than your skill set!

by

Paul G. Stoltz, Ph.D. has written a fascinating article in Psychology Today, entitled: “Six Ways Mindset Helps You Win at Work.” Thousands of employers in numerous industries and countries were asked if they would prefer to hire a candidate with “perfect skills and qualifications” or one with a mindset that fit the job and company. Almost unanimously—98 per cent—they chose the candidate with the right mindset. The companies further believed that they could predict the mindset of people they would want to hire within the next decade (96 per cent) and thought it far more likely that new hires would develop necessary skills rather than an appropriate mindset (97 per cent). People with the right mindset were chosen as more likely to receive a pay raise or promotion. Perhaps most incredibly, when asked how many ‘regular’ employees they’d trade for a person with the right attitude, the average response was 7.2.

Dr. Stoltz’ findings show that a positive attitude and a demonstrated positive mindset—one which shows “openness and connectivity,” “integrity and kindness,” “resilience, tenacity and intensity”—are a far more valuable attribute than any other, whether looking for a new job, a pay raise or a corner office. The right attitude makes any employee as valuable as seven of his or her peers in the eyes of coworkers and managers.

In recent years, we have witnessed a proliferation in the number of “happiness” books and surveys. It makes sense that most of us see this as the optimal way to live life and look for resources that help us to achieve this state of being.  In fact, the quest to measure happiness has gone global. In 2008, the World Values Survey found that freedom of choice, gender equality, and increased tolerance are responsible for a considerable rise in overall world happiness.

In her book “Happiness at Work…Maximizing your Psychological Capital for Success” Jessica Pryce-Jones says that “the starting point of happiness at work is that it is self-initiated.” This supports my argument that practicing personal leadership; taking charge of our thoughts and actions, is a choice that is always available to anyone who is ready and willing to lead themselves.

Try this quick quiz (answer “yes” or “no”) to see if you are in the right headspace at work:

  1. I speak well of my colleagues in their presence as well as their absence
  2. I express any concerns regarding people and processes in a positive manner
  3. I give the same level of service internally as I do with my external clients
  4. I am aware of my non-verbal communication
  5. I think before I speak; most of the time
  6. If there are misunderstandings, I am able to let them go rather than ruminating
  7. I think of my work in “big picture” terms, rather than routine or mundane
  8. I recognize positive consequences of honing my listening abilities
  9. I am conscious of my mood and how it impacts others
  10.  When I attempt doing something that takes me outside of my comfort zone, I consider the “best case” rather than “worst case” outcome.

Scoring

 7 – 10 “yes” responses

You understand that your mindset contributes to the overall atmosphere. When you put your best foot forward, you realize that your actions create synergy. You can “rise above” the differences and maintain a positive outlook.

 4 – 6 “yes” responses

You are conscious of your thoughts, however you often feel powerless over them. Although you recognize that changing your outlook and responses could be liberating, you find that concentrating on the positive takes more effort

 3 or less “yes” responses

Focusing on the “negative” is habitual and your self-perception is limiting your opportunities; professionally and personally. The willingness to view people and situations through a different lens isn’t a priority. You may be at “burnout” and need more than a vacation or a job-change to get out of your own head.

Being the leader of your life

by

Earlier this week I had the pleasure of speaking at the Ignite Excellence Conference in Toronto.  Suzanne F. Stevens, the founder of the Ignite Excellence Foundation, inspired 150 people to attend the event and support her vision of raising funds for African Leaders of Tomorrow. With an incredible line-up of speakers, entertainers and suppliers who gave their time and attended at their own expense, the Ignite Excellence Foundation raised over $30,000 (the final figure may go higher).  All proceeds of the event will be donated to build the Leah Ngini Community Centre at the African National University in Nairobi, Kenya and provide scholarships to prospective women leaders. Suzanne’s dedication and focus on helping educate women in particular to advance their education and realize their own vision is a cause so dear to Suzanne that she has recently sold her house and is moving to Africa early in 2011 to immerse herself in her passion in order to make a difference on a global level. One of the most influential comments to have an impact on her life was this quote from Dr. Douglas Carew, Vice-Chancellor of African National University:

 “The biggest problem in Africa today is not AIDS, poverty, disease, education or urbanization; the biggest problem is LEADERSHIP. When moral leaders of integrity and justice arise, then Africa’s problems will be solved”.

 The event was a phenomenal success, not only because of the dollars raised, but also because the attendees were there to learn about investing in their careers to ultimately lead themselves. Therefore, a dual objective was realized as participants were educating themselves to become the leader of their own lives, as well as helping others in the process. The overall experience of participating in this event and witnessing Suzanne’s vision in action made me reflect on the difference between being transactional versus transformational  in our day-to-day living. Essentially, it is about living a purposeful life rather than just going through the motions of our waking hours. Having a vision and putting energy into making it a reality results in a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Vision –   My top ten favourite quotations:

The world of tomorrow belong to the person who has the vision today – Robert Schuller

See things as you would have them be instead of as they are – Robert Collier

The willingness to create a new vision is a statement of your belief in your potential – David McNally

Vision is the art of seeing the invisible – Jonathan Swift

The future belongs to those who see possibilities before they become obvious – John Scully

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus – Mark Twain

Where you come from is not nearly as important as where you are going – Unknown

The saddest thing in the world is a person who has their sight but has no vision – Helen Keller

Vision without execution is hallucination – Thomas Edison

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it – Michelangelo

The Power of Leading YOURSELF

by

“Who” a leader and “what” is leadership?

There are many business books on the theory of leadership and the various models that evolved over the past fifty years regarding leadership in the traditional sense; i.e. being a leader meaning “the title”, generally associated with being in charge of others. A title on a business card or a placard on a desk or door does not automatically make someone a leader. It may give the impression of self-importance and achievement, however, the title alone is not enough. Neither is a job description that notes functions associated with managing people. Rather, it seems to me that there is a pre-requisite for being an effective leader of a team or within any organization. That is the ability to lead oneself first. Honing this specific talent is far more significant in the grand scheme of things, because human beings will progress further in their respective life paths by mastering the capacity to relate to and communicate with the vast array of personality types, cultures, genders and demographics that make up the human race. A business title conveying “leader” is no proof of having acquired this gift. Furthermore, one doesn’t have to be in a workplace to be a leader. A leader is someone who has grasped the ability to take charge of their thoughts, and consequently their actions, in any situation. A leader is someone who recognizes that character is the greatest test of true leadership. A leader is someone who is clear about their values and applies them on a regular basis. In other words, having values and living by one’s values are two distinctive propositions. This has very little to do with moving up the management ladder into a leadership role.