Michelle Ray

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Confidence, Composure, Credibility: Creating a Collaborative Space at Work

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Do you ever feel like you spend more time with your coworkers than you do with your family?

A lot of us work long hours, day after day. The pressure of juggling tasks, doing more with less, and managing mounting stress can take a toll on our mental and physical health.

We spin our wheels when we know we need to be the best versions of ourselves, maintaining a helpful and pleasant demeanor with our internal and external clients alike.

Does that sound familiar?

[Read more…] about Confidence, Composure, Credibility: Creating a Collaborative Space at Work

Leadership Lesson: Look for the Good!

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“She’s always whining,”  “He’s retired on the job”,  “Not worth the trouble trying to motivate her”,  etc. etc.

When it comes to managing employees who have seemingly tuned out, shut down and stopped contributing, it is easy to understand why leaders and managers become frustrated, abandon hope of a turnaround, and give their attention to the more engaged team members. After all, dwelling on the negative employee is an energy drain, hinders our effectiveness and takes a toll on managing higher priorities.

As leaders, most of us agree that managing difficult people is challenging. The usual default position of leaders who give up on unproductive employees is based on the premise that they are simply too much work. However, can we be certain that our summation is entirely accurate? [Read more…] about Leadership Lesson: Look for the Good!

Three ways to elevate your influence and energize your client relationships

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After enduring almost an hour of suffering, the convener finally called the meeting to a close. Attention spans had been stretched to the limit, the opportunity to reach consensus had failed and the client’s frustration levels soared to new heights. If this scenario sounds familiar, you are not alone. 

[Read more…] about Three ways to elevate your influence and energize your client relationships

Three reasons why you aren’t winning the talent war

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Although the buzzwords “Talent Management” were first coined more than 15 years ago, many organizations are still searching for ways to attract and retain the best and brightest in order win the talent war.

Attraction is arguably the easiest piece of the talent management equation. However, companies that spend energy creating the perfect cocktail of salary and tailored compensation packages are missing the point for long-term success. High engagement and retention, coupled with developing outstanding leadership skills are the critical elements for gaining the strategic advantage. Conversely, your business will continue to lag behind if any of the following conditions persist: [Read more…] about Three reasons why you aren’t winning the talent war

Three strategies to respond positively to negative feedback

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“You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”…Anon

If you have ever been at the receiving end of criticism, either from a co-worker or manager, it is likely you have found yourself struggling to respond positively…or worse, have defaulted to apologizing when you have done nothing wrong. Even if the criticism is warranted or offered inappropriately, you cannot control the other person’s intention, words or delivery. What you can do is respond in a positive fashion while maintaining respect…for yourself and the bearer of disparaging comments. Whether the feedback pertains to your work, your relationship or a specific situation that transpired between both parties, your goal is to rise above the negativity and respond, rather than react. [Read more…] about Three strategies to respond positively to negative feedback

How to tell people at work what you really think of them

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Act One Scene One:  Learning a brand new way of implementing: “Don’t get mad, get even.”

During a recent training session regarding workplace relationships, I asked attendees to think of a time when a co-worker, client or manager’s words left them absolutely speechless.  Shock waves filled the room as participants willingly shared their stories. One example in particular threw everyone for a loop. As one of the attendees revealed the details of an encounter with a VP, the workshop discussion quickly heated up as people chimed in with their best comebacks. The collective “you have got to be kidding” sentiment made me think about the importance of knowing how to respond professionally to a disparaging remark in order to keep one’s credibility and composure, as well managing as the ramifications of unpleasant business interactions spiralling out of control.

What were the words that left everyone aghast? [Read more…] about How to tell people at work what you really think of them

Seven deadly mistakes that destroy employee motivation

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Originally published in the Globe and Mail Leadership Lab Column

Don is the CEO of a family run business. His entrepreneurial roots span three generations and he is fiercely proud of his lineage . When “the good times” recently came to a grinding halt and the business headed into a rapid decline, a foreboding cloud of doom overtook a once, happy thriving workplace. With seventy employees on his payroll and a shrinking customer base, Don’s anxiety skyrocketed with each passing day. No one was immune from Don’s tongue-lashing as he grappled to manage his emotions and prevent his business from collapsing. [Read more…] about Seven deadly mistakes that destroy employee motivation

Four ways to deal with a bad boss

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A recent Gallup survey reported that 25 per cent of people would like to fire their boss, if they had the power. Interestingly, the majority of those 25 per cent were reported as the “highly disengaged” cohort.

On the other hand, those who enjoyed a healthy relationship with their managers were reported as “highly engaged” in their work and consequently had no desire to oust the boss.

The reasons for disengagement, however, aren’t necessarily a one-way street. Poor leadership plays a significant role in the engagement equation and it is a fact that managers and employees alike become disenchanted and disconnected due to the negative impact of mediocre leadership at the highest level.

[Read more…] about Four ways to deal with a bad boss

The trouble with leadership: It’s Time to Lead Yourself First

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Leadership is always a subject that finds its way into the headlines. Unfortunately, we are witnessing a decline in the high standards that we expect to see from our leaders. Whether we are talking about sports, politics, business or religion, why are we so often profoundly disappointed in our leaders? Why do so many fall from grace and how does it come to pass that character becomes secondary to title?

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Leadership isn’t a job- it’s a state of mind

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Leadership Isn’t A Job, It’s A State Of Mind

The Globe and Mail speaks to leadership expert, Michelle Ray,  about her new book, Lead Yourself First:

Have you ever used a word so often that it has lost all meaning? Leadership has turned into one of those words for me. Even asking, “What does leadership mean to you?” sounds like a pompous question thrown into an awkward team-building session. A quick poke around the Internet would lead most to believe that leadership remains inextricably tied to the likes of Steve Jobs or Sheryl Sandberg. Women and men both have it, so it seems, but it manifests differently.

So I’ve decided to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch to re-examine this elusive word that remains a constant in business jargon. The first hint of insight came from a candid book called Lead Yourself First, by Vancouver-based leadership expert Michelle Ray. Leadership is a mindset, not a title, according to Ms. Ray. It has everything to do with values and little to do with corporate climbing.

Despite the book’s cover image of a business woman donning boxing gloves (which led me to believe this would be yet another management book telling women to fight their way to the top), Ms. Ray preaches introspection. She shares her war stories about turning into a corporate slave, dealing with charismatic managers who fall short on their promises, and being subjected to a screaming boss that followed her inside the washroom to continue yelling, while she cowered in a stall. I simultaneously laughed and cringed.

But what do these tales from the trenches have to do with leadership? If you argue that leadership is a way of thinking, rather than a job description, the word begins to take shape. “My premise is for everyone to view leadership as a state of mind rather than a job title. Especially in these times, it’s incumbent of all of us to see ourselves as leaders of our lives,” Ms. Ray suggested. Leadership means knowing your own values and being able to translate that into a vision for yourself and others. Think of it as navigating a ship: There could be a hundred people on board or you might be alone but the main task is the same – how do you chart its course and keep it from sinking?

Rather than glean inspiration from the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, Ms. Ray draws examples from more relatable people, such as Stan, a security guard at the Regina airport. Stan shared his story about losing his son to suicide, then his job and marriage. Despite this, he set a course to pull his life together, perform well at his role and have a positive impact on those around him. He demonstrated strong personal leadership skills by recognizing the importance of character, but he wasn’t a traditional leader. “A leader is someone who is clear about their values and applies them on a regular basis. In other words, having values and living by one’s values are two distinctive propositions,” said Ms. Ray, adding that leadership doesn’t have to be about moving up the management ladder, or even being in the workplace.

The idea that leadership connotes a characteristic rather than a skill seems to resonate. I asked Carrie Kirkman, president of Ontario-based apparel maker Jones Group Canada, to describe the essence of her leadership, which she distilled to one word: courage. “I’ve never been fearful in any job that I’ve had. If I believe something, I am like a dog with a bone,” Ms. Kirkman said. She recalls a point in a previous role, as the general merchandise manager of the women’s apparel business at HBC. When the company was sold in 2008, she believed the move gave the company a window of opportunity to signal a change to the marketplace and demonstrate how the company could evolve. Some of the company’s leadership was skeptical but Ms. Kirkman stood her ground, believing that the ability to have independent thought and vision within a large corporation made her stand out from the crowd.

That gift of influence is a key component of leadership, according to Cindy Novak, president of Toronto-based Communication Leadership Network, which provides training to build leaders and their teams. “Managers direct or tell people what needs to be done while leaders achieve outcomes by influencing others to work to achieve a common goal,” said Ms. Novak, who believes leaders accomplish this through a combination of strong communication skills and the ability to effectively relate to others. “The bottom line is that leadership requires a different set of competencies than being a great manager,” she said. Settling on the definition of leadership is a tough riddle to crack. What is missing, Ms. Ray said, is the idea of taking charge of yourself. “A title on a business card or a placard on a desk or door does not automatically make someone a leader,” she said. “It may give the impression of self-importance and achievement, however, the title alone is not enough.”

By Leah Eichler/The Globe and Mail/May 3, 2013