Michelle Ray

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attitude

Confidence, Composure, Credibility: Creating a Collaborative Space at Work

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Do you ever feel like you spend more time with your coworkers than you do with your family?

A lot of us work long hours, day after day. The pressure of juggling tasks, doing more with less, and managing mounting stress can take a toll on our mental and physical health.

We spin our wheels when we know we need to be the best versions of ourselves, maintaining a helpful and pleasant demeanor with our internal and external clients alike.

Does that sound familiar?

[Read more…] about Confidence, Composure, Credibility: Creating a Collaborative Space at Work

“Dead Wood” Employees

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This article was originally posted on November 9, 2016, and has been updated.

“I’m done.” If an employee is telling you this, it means she has reached her limit. For one reason or another.

It could have nothing to do with low morale, lack of opportunity, or a dislike of her job.

She may be ready to move up, move on or begin a new chapter in her life.

All perfectly reasonable reasons to leave a position.

However, she may have shut down or become apathetic. Or maybe she is sucking the life out of her co-workers by being negative day in and day out.

Also known as a “dead wood employee”.

[Read more…] about “Dead Wood” Employees

Three ways we kill our creativity

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I recently had the opportunity to take Cayden, my eight year-old grandson, to a hockey game. Fortunately for me he loves watching hockey as much as I do. As we walked into the arena, Cayden immediately noticed all the merchandise for sale. He asked the salesperson how much a “Number 33” jersey would cost, knowing that the price would far exceed his (or grandma’s) budget. He’d already pictured himself wearing one with pride, whether we attended a game or watched on TV. What he didn’t realize was the fact that I already had a “plan b” in the works to purchase one elsewhere. As we took our seats a few minutes later, Cayden said: “It’s OK, Grandma. You don’t have to worry about buying me a jersey. Santa is going to bring me one.” I savoured the moment, having no intentions of shattering Cayden’s imagination. Santa would deliver! [Read more…] about Three ways we kill our creativity

Forget New Years Resolutions: Start With Your Mindset

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As we reflect on the events of the past twelve months, we are inundated with advice regarding New Years Resolutions, why they fail and what we need to do to achieve our goals. Like most of us, I look forward to the beginning of a new year with positive anticipation. However, while I do believe in setting objectives, I don’t make resolutions, nor do I place unrealistic expectations upon myself. Instead, I’ve come to the realization that if I wish to change any aspect of my life, the process starts with my attitude. I cannot create new outcomes without adjusting my thinking. [Read more…] about Forget New Years Resolutions: Start With Your Mindset

Understanding unconscious bias: Your perception becomes your truth

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Spanish philosopher George Santayana said in the Life of Reason: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” (1905-1906) If there is any truth to the notion that history repeats itself, then Santayana’s prophetic insights are as relevant today as they were more than 100 years ago. [Read more…] about Understanding unconscious bias: Your perception becomes your truth

All the world’s a stage, and now is the time to own your place on it

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For the purposes of this blog, allow me to take license with William Shakespeare’s original quote: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players…” Instead, I invite you consider that there has never been a better time to take our respective places on the world’s stage, and this has little to do with professional speaking.

When eighteen-year-old German podcast sensation Philip Rierderle recently took the stage as the opening keynote speaker at the National Speakers’ Association Annual Convention, he held an audience of 1400 professional speakers spellbound for the entire duration of his speech.  Mr. Riederle was the youngest speaker to grace the general session platform in the Association’s forty-year history.  With his excellent command of the English language, he mesmerized the audience of skeptical old-timers, first-timers and techno-phobs by smashing the stereotypical myths linked to his millennial generation.

He captured my attention, however, not only because of his remarkable confidence as a teenaged speaker. For me, it was the manner in which he has channeled his passion into a mission. At the age of fifteen, Reiderle became famous with his podcast “Mein iPhone und Ich…” (My iPhone and me), currently reaching over one million viewers each year. As he built his massive community of Generation Y followers, traditional corporations began wondering how and why he was able to attract this generational cohort in droves to his own on-line community, while they continued to struggle in their own marketing efforts to connect with this significant segment of consumers. Today, Rierderle is an entrepreneur and renowned thought leader consulting with major companies worldwide regarding the consumer habits of his generation.

Riederle’s delivery and presence served a dual purpose. Not only was his message timely, he also demonstrated a rare blend of authenticity and brilliance by completely owning the stage…the stage on which he stood as a speaker, as well as in his own life. His passion for educating others via podcasts on the multiple uses of an I-Phone that began as a hobby has morphed into a unique calling to heighten generational understanding on a global scale. By doing so, Riederle is helping businesses simultaneously open their minds and create new growth opportunities.

There has never been a better time to take your place on the world’s stage. You don’t need to be a publisher, a major media outlet or renowned speaker. You can claim your place by ensuring that, like Riederle, your vocation is congruent with your personal passion. At the click of a button, you can utilize social networks to tell others about issues that matter to you. There are no limits to expressing your creativity thoughtfully and purposefully.

Drama in the workplace: Are you ready and willing to end it now?

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Understanding and managing drama in the workplace is a concern shared by leaders and individuals alike. Not only is it emotionally draining, the cost and consequences cannot be understated. In fact, one of the key reasons for soaring levels of workplace disengagement links directly to the existence of dysfunctional workplace relationships.

Drama occurs because we are emotional beings. We have a desire for self-expression and unfortunately, due to stress and overwhelm, we all have the capacity to display the worst version of ourselves from time to time. However, some of our colleagues and managers not only HAVE problems, they ARE problems. And many of them don’t realize the effect of their theatrics and emotional outbursts because they are operating in a state of oblivion…constantly reacting to workplace pressures, personality triggers or stressors that are occurring in their personal and professional lives, with little awareness of the impact of such behaviours on a larger scale.

The big questions that demands answers are these: Why does drama persist and why does it escalate? Here are five explanations:

1. At a very basic level, many people actual enjoy the show…either as a participant or a spectator. After all, life would be pretty dull and work would be very boring if there were no drama; nothing to gossip about? Let’s be honest, many of us willingly contribute to the juiciness of a good story by partaking in the gossip in the first place, even if we don’t spread it ourselves.

2. Drama also manifests on a regular basis because accountability isn’t taught or understood. It is often easier to blame others and share in the misery rather than accept responsibility, even if we do not know all the facts. Pointing the finger in the other direction requires very little effort.

3. Leaders don’t want to, or don’t know how to deal with it. This is one of the most common workplace demotivators. Sadly, a lack of action builds resentment amongst those who desperately want their leadership to deal with these people issues. As a result, those who once felt engaged and happy will slowly but surely find that the dysfunctional atmosphere taking a toll on their level of performance and satisfaction.

4. Organizations may invest in core technical skills or training, however the interpersonal skills that are essential when it comes to managing drama and conflict are lacking. Practicing outstanding communication skills in the face of such challenges can make the world of difference, not only to one’s peace of mind, but to the organization’s bottom line. When people feel disengaged and disconnected, when they do not feel inclined to express their concerns, absenteeism increases, turnover escalates and business declines as a result.

5. High morale is a low priority. At all levels, everyone feels the increasing pressure of managing their daily workload. As a result, paying attention to the human element slowly becomes neglected. Yet, this is precisely the issue that necessitates the greatest consideration. In addition, it is fascinating to note this is the one area that is within an organization’s control: the atmosphere within its own walls.

Based in Vancouver, Canada, Michelle Ray is a leadership expert who helps individuals and organizations succeed and take the lead. Her keynote presentation and workshop: No More Drama! How to Build High Engagement, High Morale and a Happier Workplace will be offered as a one-hour, complimentary webinar on June 27.

Leadership Values – Crisis or Opportunity

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“The ideal leader is the servant of all – able to display a disarming humility, without the loss of authority”

…Col. Sir Edward (Weary) Dunlop, Australian Hero, Leader Extraordinaire

Not a day passes without a reference to a leader’s fall from grace somewhere on the planet.  News regarding the behaviours of a political despot, government official or corporate executive’s transgressions spark continued outrage from a world that seems to relish sensationalism, no matter how ugly or scandalous. Headlines laden with allegations of misdemeanours that include misappropriated use of company or government expense accounts, fraudulent spending of tax payer funds, drug addiction, marital affairs, lies and corruption of some form or another continue to demand our attention. When confronted with their assortment of character flaws, denial of the truth by these leaders seems to be the easier option.

The frequency of prominent public figures coming under scrutiny is nothing new.  The underlying concern is the spectacle that such leaders generate as a result of their questionable activities, as well as society’s reaction.  Their examples should serve notice for us all to examine our own values, as we are indeed the leaders of our own lives. We look to our leaders for inspiration and become profoundly disappointed. Nonetheless, we seem to thrive on the drama of it all. By doing so, are we not condoning their behaviour? The display of deceit by those that we uphold as role models as they dance around the truth defies logic, yet it has become the norm. Therein lies the premise of this article: We are experiencing nothing short of a values crisis. When we witness bad behaviour on the part of our leaders, do we choose to partake in the entertainment factor, or do such examples cause us to reflect on our own standards?

Several months ago when the news broke regarding the “groping” incident that allegedly took place between the embattled Mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford, and former Mayoral candidate Susan Thompson, I was in the studios of a that city’s local news-talk radio station for a prime-time interview, planning to discuss my recently-released book. Instead, the interview took a different tack as I was asked to comment on the unfolding political uproar. The allegations were the story of the hour, the day, the week.  I chose to focus on the values question rather than engaging in political posturing. If the allegations about the mayor were true, then it was an example of outrageous behaviour on his part. If the accuser was fabricating the story, then it was an example of extreme opportunism at its worst. Both parties had the opportunity to show exemplary leadership. Unfortunately, the “he said/she said” guessing game continued, with the outcome left hanging in the court of public opinion. As I write this piece, the same mayor in question is ensconced in yet another leadership crisis.

Stories of leaders who allegedly conceal the truth continue to receive top billing in the media.  In Canada, the expense activities of Senator Duffy, (and subsequent payment by the Prime Minister’s former Chief of Staff, Mr. Nigel Wright, of the $90,000 owed by Duffy) together with Prime Minister Harper’s management of the issue have made the news for weeks. In the U.S, IRS official Faris Fink admitted only days ago to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee that the lavish spending of over $4 million on a training conference several years ago in Anaheim (including his starring role as Mr. Spock in a Star Wars spoof) “was not the best use of taxpayers dollars.” The organization has also been in the spotlight with the credibility of President Obama’s response to the Tea-Party claims of bias regarding I.R.S purportedly singling out a number of Republican groups applying for not-for-profit status for extra scrutiny continues to make headlines.  In addition, his administration’s reaction to documentation indicating a cover-up regarding the deaths of U.S. officials at the embassy in Benghazi, Libya, is being reported on almost daily.

In an excellent article: “On the Nature of Scandals” published by the National Post late last month, the author, Professor Jack Mintz, wrote:  “What matters most is accountability to establish trust. Those who make wrong decisions must pay the price for their wrongdoing. It applies to companies and individuals who fail to make the grade. The same for politicians and public officials – they must be reprimanded as well.” While I wholeheartedly concur with Professor Mintz’s conclusions, holding leaders and others accountable when a violation of trust occurs is just one part of the solution. When the leaders themselves can practice personal leadership by admitting and accepting their own values dilemma in order to acknowledge their own truth, they will be better positioned to regain trust and respect. When individuals decide that their time has come to accept personal responsibility; whether or not they possess the title of “leader”, we in turn become a more values -based society. Professing values and living by them are two very distinct propositions.  Keep in mind these essential principles in order to turn a values crisis into an opportunity:

Humility is not humiliation

My father was one of my greatest examples of living by this principle. When my mother was diagnosed with dementia, my father became her primary caregiver. Unfortunately, her health deteriorated to such an extent that he was no longer able to provide the level of care that she needed. My father was always a proud man, yet he knew that by adopting a posture of humility, he was able to achieve what was best for my mother. By revealing his vulnerability in order to receive help, he demonstrated his depth of character and commitment to do the most important thing. Humility should not be confused with humiliation. Rather, it is an attractive human characteristic that demonstrates a level of transparency; something that is often missing in politics or business dynamics. All too often, leaders opt to build a wall around themselves in order to “stay strong” when their integrity comes into question. The greatest strength can be found by accepting what is, becoming more transparent and revealing one’s humanness.

The attractiveness of authenticity

Some human qualities that are often perceived as weak are actually the opposite. For example, revealing a challenging aspect of your life when you experience a personal struggle can create a unique bond with another individual who has dealt, or is dealing with something similar. When I disclosed the story about my mother’s illness and my father’s response to a group of leaders in the Oil and Gas Industry, the senior VP approached me at the conclusion of my presentation and began to cry. He had just gone through the same experience; placing his mother in a care facility. By telling my own story, he felt a deeper connection to the educational message and content, because it was a story he immediately related to in his own life.

 Lead with your values

In order to eliminate any ambiguity regarding values that are important to you, you need a strong sense of self. One explanation for the current values “crisis” is that many of us are “others values-based”; attached to societal, individual or cultural values that do not resonate at our core. Eventually, this internal struggle of trying to align your own values with another set of divergent values may cause you such distress that you either have to speak up or move on. On the other hand, when you are leading yourself first, the process of discerning whether or not you are operating from another person’s values instead of your own becomes far less complicated, liberating and enlightening.

 Based in Vancouver, Michelle Ray is a leadership expert and founder of the Lead Yourself First Institute. She is the author of the newly-released book: “Lead Yourself First! Breakthrough Strategies to Life the Life You Want.”

(Red Carpet Publications)

To Post or not to Post? That is the (social media) question

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This morning I discovered an ad for weight loss on my Facebook Timeline. A few weeks ago, a professional colleague added a post to my post promoting his services. I did not invite their participation into my social media presence. Nonetheless, there they were. These unwelcome intrusions have given me cause to reflect on our rationale for using social media effectively and more importantly, whether we are using it purposefully.

For several years I resisted creating any social media accounts, simply because I felt that the requirement to “say something” on line was yet another task to add to my already jammed to-do list. I did not want to learn how to use the applications and I initially resented the notion of doing so because I’ve never been a fan of the herd mentality. Yet, I succumbed to the idea and began blogging and posting my thoughts. Although I do enjoy reading about the latest happenings with family and friends, I admit that I still have a lot to learn about maximizing the benefits of social media for commercial purposes.

I have come to the conclusion that for personal use, social media is a fun tool to stay in touch. I do not need to have any particular objective for posting a status update.  However, I am mindful about what I choose to broadcast. For business, social media is proving to be a very powerful tool, provided I have a clearly defined strategy. The instantaneous and very public nature of each post demands that I give thought to every word.

In a recent New York Times article “The Flight from Conversation”, psychologist and professor Sherry Turkle says: “We use technology to define ourselves by sharing our thoughts and feelings as we’re having them…In order to feel more, and to feel more like ourselves, we connect. But in our rush to connect, we flee from solitude, our ability to be separate and gather ourselves.”

What began as a means to connect on a personal level has morphed into a force that is beyond our imagination.  Social media has changed the face of human interaction. We now feel the urge to broadcast our innermost thoughts. Each medium is a now a movement that has given the word “socialize”, or indeed the word “friend”, a new connotation that has transcended personal boundaries, changed political landscapes and revolutionized way we do business.

Do we value our virtual social networks; whether they are for personal or business use, as highly as our “real” connections?  Are we creating and posting status updates to impress, or to leave an impression? Are we giving thought to our broadcasts, or are we indulging our egos with endless self-promotion?  As  the world has become a smaller place due to technology, these are important questions for both individuals and organizations to consider.

 

Are you taking the lead with your customers?

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A friend of mine went to pick up his dry cleaning last Friday. While this isn’t exactly headline news, be assured that the dry cleaner in question has no idea that he is the main story of my blog. He doesn’t know that potentially 1,000’s of people are reading about his example of appalling customer service right now.

Most of us expect that if our dry cleaning is tagged for pick up on a particular day, it will be ready. When my friend went to the store, he found a sign on the door that read: “Closed Fridays”. He had several suits waiting for pick-up…the only suits he owned. He needed them urgently and was left high and dry. When he was finally able to pick up his clothes and asked the dry cleaner why he tagged his clothes for Friday, the owner of the store tersely replied: “What do you want me to do about it”? Wrong answer.

The cleaner offered my friend a 20% discount. Although he had not asked for one, the offer made no difference. He had already made up his mind that he would not be coming back. False promises and the owner’s attitude were enough for him to make the decision in a split second. The dry cleaner failed to realize the implications.

Unfortunately, these situations play out every day, worldwide. Businesses of every description often fail to realize the consequences of poor communication as the fundamental reason for people deciding to invest their dollars elsewhere. One “faux pas” can destroy the relationship permanently. This truth applies to transactions at the highest level…from the board room to the mail room. Millions of dollars are being lost due to the absence of a Lead Yourself First mindset.

The tone of your communication is your responsibility. When you say or do the wrong thing, when your advertising is misleading, when your clients question any inconsistencies, listen and apologize immediately. Otherwise, you and your business may may find yourself front and centre on a very popular website known as “I’m-not-happy.com”.