Michelle Ray

Business and Leadership Keynote Speaker

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personal leadership

Lessons learned about leadership from my visit to Washington DC

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During my trip to Washington DC last week, I had the privilege of hearing Sam Horn, the Intrigue Expert, who spoke on the topic: “How to turn your Passion and Purpose into a Serendestiny organization.”  The most profound question Sam posed was this: “Is the light on in your eyes? Are you doing what you love most and do best?” It caused me reflect on the difference between those who lead themselves first, versus those who wait for their world to change.

One of the enduring impressions of my visit was witnessing walking talking examples of individuals who are leading themselves first. They have launched organizations and taken the lead. Sharing the platform with Sam were Lawrence Williams, founder,  United States Healthful Food Council, Vice President for Strategic Relations at Space Exploration Technologies (Space X), Allan Horlick, President of  CBS Washington DC,  Kathy Korman Frey, Founder of the “Hot Mommas Project”, an organization that houses the largest collection of women’s case studies in the world, Michelle James, founder of the Center for Creative Emergence , Cynthia de Lorenzi, CEO of the phenomenal success network “Success in the City”,  pizza innovator and serial entrepreneur, Miki Agrawal, Alex Horn, Executive Director of Dreams for Kids DC and founder of the Ability List, and renowned Social Media expert, Jennifer Abernathy, Author of the “Complete Idiots Guide to Social Media” and founder of  The Sales Lounge.

These impressive leaders have one thing in common. They are passionate about life because they have aligned their personal mission with their respective careers; taking a fearless approach to their work and their causes so that others can succeed as well.

Can you imagine the possibilities when you make the decision to take the leap and lead yourself? By doing so, you will achieve a deeper sense of life and career satisfaction. There is a difference between intuitively knowing what to do versus making it happen! The success stories that I heard in Washington DC left a significant impression on me as each speaker demonstrated that leadership is first and foremost a state of mind. Self-imposed, self-manufactured beliefs that limit potential are the only roadblocks that stand in your way of living your life’s purpose. Are you ready for NOW?

New Year…New Career: Are you ready for “me” management?

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This is the time of year when many people set New Years’ Resolutions or big goals for future. You may be thinking that 2012 is the year to start a new venture and finally resolve to start a new business or make a career change that has been on your mind for a considerable period of time. As exciting as your plans may be, you want to ensure to the best of your ability that your goals come to fruition.  We have all heard sayings such as “the only place that success comes before work is in the dictionary” and although it is one of the most overused clichés on the planet, the fact remains that many small businesses and solopreneurs fail because they mistakenly believe that self-employment provides a glamorous lifestyle. In my experience, nothing could be further from the truth. While there is no doubt that I enjoy my daily working life without routines or bosses (and wouldn’t have it any other way), buying into the notion that I no longer answer to anyone and can do whatever I please is not a winning strategy for long-term success. When it comes to practicing self-leadership at work and in business, it is important not to underestimate the challenges associated with being your own boss while deciding whether it is really for you.

Having entrepreneurial roots did not give me the rite of passage to financial freedom. It took considerable time for me to see my business as a viable enterprise. If I wanted to merely survive and make enough money to pay my rent and living expenses, I could have remained employed. However, the primary motivator was based on a lack of fulfillment.  My decision to start my first business as a speaker was based primarily on lifestyle considerations, coupled with the belief that if it were a truly viable enterprise that allowed me to do what I loved, it could afford me a way of life that would be immensely gratifying. At the core, I believed in myself enough to take the risk.

If you are contemplating leaving your job or starting a new venture, your capacity to be brutally honest regarding your expectations is a good place to start. When it comes to making choices such as pursuing a new vocation or business, your most important asset is mindfulness. It is all about practicing “me” management…being able to effectively manage yourself. The first step requires honing an unfamiliar kind of mental toughness that will force you to personally dig deep and assess your own reality while loving what you do in order to stay the course.

Achieving professional success is not only about honing one’s business acumen. It requires the ability to truly lead oneself by clarifying one’s values and beliefs. The truth is that many of us buy into the accepted wisdoms of society rather than formulating our own. As a result, we experience an inner conflict as the real “me” is trying to find the way. For example, do you value balance and are you “living it”? Can you discern your own truth and are you able to follow through on your own values and beliefs by putting them into action, rather than rhetoric? This type of values test invariably comes with the territory when you are your own boss. The more clarity we gain around our values, the more effective “me” management becomes. Are you ready?

 PS: Look for my brand new book and website in 2012!

2012: Photo by Salvatore Vuono

 

Getting Unstuck: Finding momentum to create change

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The truth is that many of us are never taught how to lead ourselves at work, in business and in life. As a result, we settle for mediocrity and dissatisfaction.  Why is it that so many talented, creative people stay in jobs that make them miserable?  Is it because family responsibilities must come first and the financial risks associated with leaving are too great? Is it the fear of the unknown, the comfort of the status quo? “Better the devil you know”…etc? Or is self-doubt, a lack of faith, trust…perhaps all of the above? We have a burning desire to transform professionally and personally, to alter the course of our vocation, to let go of people and situations that no longer serve us, yet we hold back. Until the level of discontent becomes greater than the fear of change; we will stay stuck, perhaps for many years.

The Towers Watson’s 2010 Global Workforce Study of over 22,000 employees in 22 markets revealed some key points regarding career change and choices. These are particularly interesting findings for anyone considering making life-altering decisions regarding one’s professional path. From their surveys, they discovered that mobility is at a decade-long low point, and many are sacrificing career growth for a secure job. Their results also indicated that confidence in leaders and managers is disturbingly low.

A recessionary environment exacerbates the feeling of helplessness, as we believe that we cannot escape our situation. When we experience enormous frustration ith our employer due to a poor relationship and lack of support from our immediate manager, we slowly begin disengaging from our work. When you add these two factors together, it is no wonder that people lose interest in what they are doing and genuinely feel stuck. How do you free yourself from the “trapped” experience?

1.  Realize that self-doubt is often at the core of your fear

In the words of Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Recognize that the opposite of fear is faith. We prefer to stay “safe” and therefore it is understandable that we can easily justify our rationale to maintain the status quo. By listing the “pros” and “cons” associated with moving in, we can get clarity around the feeling of being at an impasse.

2. Pay attention to the signs that are pointing you in another direction

When we are caught up in the fear, we often miss the signs indicating a new path. By taking the step outlined above, we will have more awareness regarding the signposts that are either subtle or flashing neon lights, guiding us elsewhere.

3. If your job and workplace aren’t going to change, it is up to you to initiate change

Staying stuck in a job or career where the situation has become untenable will invariably take a toll. Only you can decide whether that psychological toll of staying outweighs the financial risk of leaving. If you can find the momentum to re-think your attitudes and beliefs around creating change, change will happen!

 

Fish Jumping: Photo by Danilo Rizzuti

 

Are you happy at work?

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There is no greater waste of energy than getting up in the morning and hating where we spend most of our day.

If we aren’t enjoying our work, chances are that we aren’t much fun to be around.  On the other hand, when we feel inspired at work, we make a difference to our co-workers and those closest to us. Our clients also benefit when we are happy and customer service levels improve dramatically when we feel more connected to our work.

Despite the prevailing pessimism regarding the economy, the 5th-annual Labor Happiness Index commissioned by Snagajob in the U.S. (hourly job specialists with the world’s largest community of hourly workers) recently released some interesting findings on the subject. Although the economy remains a key issue in for workers, these macro-concerns are not preventing individual job happiness. Roughly six in 10 working Americans say they are happy in their current jobs, relatively unchanged in the past three years. The Snagajob survey is showing some consistency in the key contributors to workers’ happiness. Over the past three years — since this particular data has been collected — the top drivers of workplace happiness have been personal satisfaction the job provides (27% this year), feeling fortunate to have a job at all (26%) and the job being a good fit for the worker’s lifestyle (19%). Meanwhile, only 15 percent of workers say that their paycheck is the No. 1 factor that defines their job happiness.

“One message to workers and employers is that the paycheck isn’t everything,” CEO Shawn Boyer said. “While we all want to be compensated fairly for our hard work, most people won’t be truly happy unless they are deriving a sense of pleasure from what they are doing and from what they are contributing to.”

If you are miserable in your job and still feel you aren’t ready to make a job change, or financially you cannot envisage taking the risk right now, realize that you could ultimately pay the highest price in terms of the physiological, psychological and emotional consequences to your well-being.

Even though you are consciously aware of your goals and desire to create change for yourself, recognize that there is a part of the brain that automatically reverts to a fear-based, negative response unconsciously.

Consider athletes who train for the Olympics or World Championship events. They do not allow themselves the luxury of a negative thought during their preparation. Instead, they use visualization to literally create a winning state of mind.  The mental preparedness is equally as important as the physical aspect of their training. Therefore, with discipline, repetition and practice, you can begin to alter the pattern of your thinking in order override the “pre-programmed” response mechanism.