Michelle Ray

Business and Leadership Keynote Speaker

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Michelle Ray

Are you taking the lead with your customers?

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A friend of mine went to pick up his dry cleaning last Friday. While this isn’t exactly headline news, be assured that the dry cleaner in question has no idea that he is the main story of my blog. He doesn’t know that potentially 1,000’s of people are reading about his example of appalling customer service right now.

Most of us expect that if our dry cleaning is tagged for pick up on a particular day, it will be ready. When my friend went to the store, he found a sign on the door that read: “Closed Fridays”. He had several suits waiting for pick-up…the only suits he owned. He needed them urgently and was left high and dry. When he was finally able to pick up his clothes and asked the dry cleaner why he tagged his clothes for Friday, the owner of the store tersely replied: “What do you want me to do about it”? Wrong answer.

The cleaner offered my friend a 20% discount. Although he had not asked for one, the offer made no difference. He had already made up his mind that he would not be coming back. False promises and the owner’s attitude were enough for him to make the decision in a split second. The dry cleaner failed to realize the implications.

Unfortunately, these situations play out every day, worldwide. Businesses of every description often fail to realize the consequences of poor communication as the fundamental reason for people deciding to invest their dollars elsewhere. One “faux pas” can destroy the relationship permanently. This truth applies to transactions at the highest level…from the board room to the mail room. Millions of dollars are being lost due to the absence of a Lead Yourself First mindset.

The tone of your communication is your responsibility. When you say or do the wrong thing, when your advertising is misleading, when your clients question any inconsistencies, listen and apologize immediately. Otherwise, you and your business may may find yourself front and centre on a very popular website known as “I’m-not-happy.com”.

“The Mighty Have Fallen”…Lessons from a Generation of Mentors

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Eleven months ago at 90 years of age, my father’s voice fell silent. My brother and I watched him take his last breath as he departed the world for another place to join my mother. The enormity of the loss is still with us as we unveiled his headstone this weekend in Sydney, Australia.  Many from his generation exemplified the greatest examples of overcoming tremendous adversity during their living years and I know that their legacy lives on in me.

Growing up in the safety and security of Australia, it was often difficult for me to comprehend the situations that my parents endured; although I have no doubt that their experiences had an indelible impact on my identity and perspective on life.

As I remember my father, I think of the stories he told regarding his upbringing and the tumultuous years he spent as a prisoner of war on two occasions. First, in a forced labour camp in Hungary, only to be liberated by his future captors who placed him in a Russian prisoner of war camp until after the Second World War. He went home to discover that many members of his family had been murdered in the concentration camps.

Like many who faced the reality of a world changed forever, my father’s survival skills prevailed. He emigrated to Australia in 1952, arriving with a small amount of cash and big dreams. He seized the opportunity to forge a new beginning and saved his earnings to return to Europe. While attending a trade show in Vienna he saw an automated knitting machine and recognized an opportunity.

With his hard work ethic, endearing personality and strong sales skills, my father was able to secure the necessary financial backing and ultimately sell the machines to the largest department stores in Australia and New Zealand. Dad was the first to introduce knitting machines to the southern hemisphere and became wildly successful with his new business venture.

Despite the horrors of war and loss everlastingly etched in his memory, he was nonetheless a risk-taker extraordinaire and entrepreneur before the words became popularized. Above all, his eternal optimism triumphed over his darkest times.

Even though he experienced numerous ups and downs in business, including the collapse of the knitting machine venture (as Dad put it, the Australian public’s fascination with the introduction of television took over from their first love affair with his knitting machines,) he would always persevere.

When faced with the biggest test of his personal life…the role of caregiver for my mother at the age 80, he rose to the occasion despite a breaking heart, witnessing her demise to the cruelty of dementia.

One of the greatest lessons I learned from my father was this: In order to rise above our challenges of any description, we need to focus on developing a resiliency mindset. It is a business and life strategy that many individuals and organizations must adopt in order to deal with adversity as well as uncertainty.

My father also taught me about the willingness to dig deep and gain strength from past experiences. We can overcome seemingly impossible challenges in the present by drawing upon our own inner resources.

The most striking words from his eulogy came from one of my father’s business associates. When describing his generation, he reminded the mourners: “the mighty have fallen.”

There will never be another generation that resembles my parents’. We have much to learn and appreciate from their timeless legacy.

The Age of Leading Yourself First

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“To thine own self be true,” said Polonius in the play Hamlet, by Shakespeare. It is highly likely that Shakespeare had not intended for his character to be the spokesperson for humanity on the subject of living one’s truth (indeed, he was portrayed frequently as a foolish old “goat”.)

Nonetheless, his ramblings remain legendary; renowned through the ages for their wisdom. This quote epitomizes the essence of leading oneself first: i.e. practicing personal leadership. To lead ourselves first means that we can differentiate our values without holding any attachment to another person’s idea of whom we are supposed to be.  When we are true to ourselves, we know ourselves and we understand our place in the grand scheme of things. We have discovered our unique purpose and we regularly tap into our intuition in order to make decisions of all kinds.  We are successfully practicing “me” management in every situation or challenge.

When we think of “leadership skills”, we usually associate these with individuals who are in a management or supervisory role. Leadership rhetoric has its roots in a variety of management theories espoused over the ages. What is missing, however, is the idea of taking charge of oneself. It has been commonplace to think of a leader in terms of “position”, generally associated with being in charge of others. However, a title on a business card or a placard on a desk or door does not automatically make someone a leader. It may give the impression of self-importance and achievement, however, the title alone is not enough. Neither is a job description that notes functions associated with managing people.

The importance of practicing personal leadership is everyone’s personal responsibility. Attaching importance to what we do for a living is often recognized as a yardstick for measuring success. However, the manner in which we conduct ourselves has far greater significance and impact in the long-term. Therefore, the meaning of leadership denotes character, above all else. It has nothing to do with a job title.

 Definition of leadership

 A leader is someone who recognizes that character is the greatest test of true leadership. A leader is someone who is clear about their values and applies them on a regular basis. In other words, having values and living by one’s values are two distinctive propositions. This has very little to do with moving up the management ladder into a leadership role. Furthermore, one doesn’t have to be in a workplace to be a leader.

Be the best version of you with others

 Honing this specific talent is more noteworthy, because human beings progress further in life by mastering the capacity to appreciate, relate to and communicate with the vast array of personalities, cultures and demographics, without judgment or discrimination. A business title conveying “leader” is no proof of having acquired this gift.

 Experience the totality of the moment 

According to physics, the earth’s average orbital speed is around 30,000 mph. Our planet is spinning so fast, yet we don’t even feel it.  One could say the same thing about numerous interactions that occur on a daily basis. Do we truly experience them? It is an interesting dichotomy, although the reality is that it is precisely because of the speed at which we live, we happen upon human encounters that have a fascinating potential to provide a quantum leap in our own learning, yet we shrug them off.  Rarely do we stop to consider their impact.

Conclusion

Leading yourself first in your organization, your career and your life requires commitment, desire and discipline. Recognizing the true essence of leadership is the first step. We are experiencing a unique period in our history where it is possible for anyone to be thrust into the spotlight, either through our own efforts or via the plethora of social media. Therefore, at any given moment, we have the opportunity to demonstrate leadership on a daily basis, regardless of vocation or position, in all that we do.

Michelle Ray is the author of  “Lead Yourself First”, coming soon!

“Money doesn’t talk…It swears”

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“Money doesn’t talk…It swears” – Bob Dylan

In my upcoming book, “Lead Yourself First”, I dedicate several chapters to the subject of values. Values drive our behaviour and decisions, as well as our professional and personal relationships. Making values – based decisions in business and life aren’t always easy, even when we feel that we know ourselves well. One of the most difficult areas pertains to money and finances, especially if we find ourselves at the crossroads regarding career change or making an investment in a new business venture. Although there are some simple truths such as having your finances in order prior to taking such bold steps, conversations around money are often emotionally- charged due to the fact that our values also come into play.  Therefore, the subject isn’t merely about numbers, being practical or even logical.  Going through the process of ascertaining what lies behind the rationale to leave a job or stay, to invest or not to invest; to save or spend is an important exercise because we discover more about what is actually influencing such choices. In addition, the manner in which we justify our course of action is also a reflection of our principles.

The financial values dilemma is not only felt at an individual level. It happens in corporations on a daily basis. If you listen closely, you will hear people frequently professing values-laden statements regarding their workplace or direction of their organization. It isn’t unusual for leaders to experience conflict in this arena, especially during these times of uncertainty. While working with one client recently, one member of the senior leadership team was frustrated due to the push-back he was experiencing from his colleagues. He wished to maintain the status quo in terms of staff retention…in contrast to a number of his peers who he felt were reacting by taking an ultra cautious approach; entertaining cutbacks and terminations. Critical business decisions such as these may appear to be based on fiscal evidence. However, the values of a core leadership team are often driving the process.

Is it possible to be completely objective regarding where one may stand on financial values, or indeed our entire values system?  The challenge lies in the fact that we have all been influenced in varying degrees by the standards of others, be they family members, peers, associates, coaches or well-intended friends. Therefore, the sample inventory exercise below will reveal the extent to which you have allowed yourself  to be governed by accepted morals or ethics that perhaps hinder your professional and personal direction. There are no “right” or “wrong” answers. Rather, your responses reflect your current position and beliefs and illuminate information regarding your financial values that my surprise you. 

Values inventory clarification – Money

  1. What does financial freedom represent to you?
  2.  Do you subscribe to a scarcity or abundance mentality?
  3.  Were you taught to manage your money at an early age?
  4. When you think of the term “financially responsible”, how would you define it?
  5. What were some of the prevailing attitudes around money in your family?
  6. How has the recent economic volatility impacted your career? If you have not been affected directly, have you witnessed the effect on colleagues, business associates, and clients?

Leading yourself first in your organization, your career and your life requires clarity around questions such as these. Can you lead your team with confidence regarding business decisions that impact them directly? Do you trust yourself to take the necessary commercial risk to grow your business into a viable entity? Are you ready to take the leap of faith associated with a career change? When we truly understand that our values underpin everything about us that makes us tick, we are able to approach the crossroads with greater conviction.

Michelle’s book, “Lead Yourself First”  is due for worldwide release this year.

Do you give credit to those who take the lead?

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“It’s never crowded along the extra mile”…Poet unknown

This week, my new website went live. Invariably, there were glitches as the site moved from one hosting company to the other. Building a website is not my forte, however I have learned a lot about what happens behind the scenes from my web developer, Carrie  Haggerty.  Several months ago I decided that it was time to make changes regarding my website. Carrie, who has known me for almost three years, encouraged me to build this website in Word Press and was passionate when it came to helping me make the necessary changes. As this week drew closer and the launch day approached, I became aware of some of the potential technological hurdles that could arise. For example,  although I knew that it could take 2-48 hours for my new website to be visible, I did not know that there would be a delay in terms of where the website could be seen. Carrie knew that my new website was live, however she could not see it as her server wasn’t picking it up. No matter how many times she clicked “refresh” or cleared her “cookies”,  my new website would not show. During the early hours of the launch day, Carrie left her office and took it upon herself to find a location with an internet connection so she could upload critical files and index the website correctly. She barely slept because she knew that that there was a possibility of something going very wrong that could affect my wesbite and as a result, my business. Carrie went above and beyond to take the lead in order to ensure that my project succeeded. In fact, it would be more accurate to say “our project”.   Although many of us find frequently find ourselves at the mercy of technology at work, how often to we stop and say “thank you” to those who support us at work to make sure things go smoothly? We rely on the internet more than ever, therefore it times of high stress and change, having the right elements in place can mean everything. If you have people on your team who constantly go the extra mile to make you look good at the back end, acknowledgement of their efforts to take the lead on your behalf comes with the territory.

Lessons learned about leadership from my visit to Washington DC

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During my trip to Washington DC last week, I had the privilege of hearing Sam Horn, the Intrigue Expert, who spoke on the topic: “How to turn your Passion and Purpose into a Serendestiny organization.”  The most profound question Sam posed was this: “Is the light on in your eyes? Are you doing what you love most and do best?” It caused me reflect on the difference between those who lead themselves first, versus those who wait for their world to change.

One of the enduring impressions of my visit was witnessing walking talking examples of individuals who are leading themselves first. They have launched organizations and taken the lead. Sharing the platform with Sam were Lawrence Williams, founder,  United States Healthful Food Council, Vice President for Strategic Relations at Space Exploration Technologies (Space X), Allan Horlick, President of  CBS Washington DC,  Kathy Korman Frey, Founder of the “Hot Mommas Project”, an organization that houses the largest collection of women’s case studies in the world, Michelle James, founder of the Center for Creative Emergence , Cynthia de Lorenzi, CEO of the phenomenal success network “Success in the City”,  pizza innovator and serial entrepreneur, Miki Agrawal, Alex Horn, Executive Director of Dreams for Kids DC and founder of the Ability List, and renowned Social Media expert, Jennifer Abernathy, Author of the “Complete Idiots Guide to Social Media” and founder of  The Sales Lounge.

These impressive leaders have one thing in common. They are passionate about life because they have aligned their personal mission with their respective careers; taking a fearless approach to their work and their causes so that others can succeed as well.

Can you imagine the possibilities when you make the decision to take the leap and lead yourself? By doing so, you will achieve a deeper sense of life and career satisfaction. There is a difference between intuitively knowing what to do versus making it happen! The success stories that I heard in Washington DC left a significant impression on me as each speaker demonstrated that leadership is first and foremost a state of mind. Self-imposed, self-manufactured beliefs that limit potential are the only roadblocks that stand in your way of living your life’s purpose. Are you ready for NOW?

New Year…New Career: Are you ready for “me” management?

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This is the time of year when many people set New Years’ Resolutions or big goals for future. You may be thinking that 2012 is the year to start a new venture and finally resolve to start a new business or make a career change that has been on your mind for a considerable period of time. As exciting as your plans may be, you want to ensure to the best of your ability that your goals come to fruition.  We have all heard sayings such as “the only place that success comes before work is in the dictionary” and although it is one of the most overused clichés on the planet, the fact remains that many small businesses and solopreneurs fail because they mistakenly believe that self-employment provides a glamorous lifestyle. In my experience, nothing could be further from the truth. While there is no doubt that I enjoy my daily working life without routines or bosses (and wouldn’t have it any other way), buying into the notion that I no longer answer to anyone and can do whatever I please is not a winning strategy for long-term success. When it comes to practicing self-leadership at work and in business, it is important not to underestimate the challenges associated with being your own boss while deciding whether it is really for you.

Having entrepreneurial roots did not give me the rite of passage to financial freedom. It took considerable time for me to see my business as a viable enterprise. If I wanted to merely survive and make enough money to pay my rent and living expenses, I could have remained employed. However, the primary motivator was based on a lack of fulfillment.  My decision to start my first business as a speaker was based primarily on lifestyle considerations, coupled with the belief that if it were a truly viable enterprise that allowed me to do what I loved, it could afford me a way of life that would be immensely gratifying. At the core, I believed in myself enough to take the risk.

If you are contemplating leaving your job or starting a new venture, your capacity to be brutally honest regarding your expectations is a good place to start. When it comes to making choices such as pursuing a new vocation or business, your most important asset is mindfulness. It is all about practicing “me” management…being able to effectively manage yourself. The first step requires honing an unfamiliar kind of mental toughness that will force you to personally dig deep and assess your own reality while loving what you do in order to stay the course.

Achieving professional success is not only about honing one’s business acumen. It requires the ability to truly lead oneself by clarifying one’s values and beliefs. The truth is that many of us buy into the accepted wisdoms of society rather than formulating our own. As a result, we experience an inner conflict as the real “me” is trying to find the way. For example, do you value balance and are you “living it”? Can you discern your own truth and are you able to follow through on your own values and beliefs by putting them into action, rather than rhetoric? This type of values test invariably comes with the territory when you are your own boss. The more clarity we gain around our values, the more effective “me” management becomes. Are you ready?

 PS: Look for my brand new book and website in 2012!

2012: Photo by Salvatore Vuono

 

Getting Unstuck: Finding momentum to create change

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The truth is that many of us are never taught how to lead ourselves at work, in business and in life. As a result, we settle for mediocrity and dissatisfaction.  Why is it that so many talented, creative people stay in jobs that make them miserable?  Is it because family responsibilities must come first and the financial risks associated with leaving are too great? Is it the fear of the unknown, the comfort of the status quo? “Better the devil you know”…etc? Or is self-doubt, a lack of faith, trust…perhaps all of the above? We have a burning desire to transform professionally and personally, to alter the course of our vocation, to let go of people and situations that no longer serve us, yet we hold back. Until the level of discontent becomes greater than the fear of change; we will stay stuck, perhaps for many years.

The Towers Watson’s 2010 Global Workforce Study of over 22,000 employees in 22 markets revealed some key points regarding career change and choices. These are particularly interesting findings for anyone considering making life-altering decisions regarding one’s professional path. From their surveys, they discovered that mobility is at a decade-long low point, and many are sacrificing career growth for a secure job. Their results also indicated that confidence in leaders and managers is disturbingly low.

A recessionary environment exacerbates the feeling of helplessness, as we believe that we cannot escape our situation. When we experience enormous frustration ith our employer due to a poor relationship and lack of support from our immediate manager, we slowly begin disengaging from our work. When you add these two factors together, it is no wonder that people lose interest in what they are doing and genuinely feel stuck. How do you free yourself from the “trapped” experience?

1.  Realize that self-doubt is often at the core of your fear

In the words of Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Recognize that the opposite of fear is faith. We prefer to stay “safe” and therefore it is understandable that we can easily justify our rationale to maintain the status quo. By listing the “pros” and “cons” associated with moving in, we can get clarity around the feeling of being at an impasse.

2. Pay attention to the signs that are pointing you in another direction

When we are caught up in the fear, we often miss the signs indicating a new path. By taking the step outlined above, we will have more awareness regarding the signposts that are either subtle or flashing neon lights, guiding us elsewhere.

3. If your job and workplace aren’t going to change, it is up to you to initiate change

Staying stuck in a job or career where the situation has become untenable will invariably take a toll. Only you can decide whether that psychological toll of staying outweighs the financial risk of leaving. If you can find the momentum to re-think your attitudes and beliefs around creating change, change will happen!

 

Fish Jumping: Photo by Danilo Rizzuti

 

Workplace Motivation…Three common myths

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One of the old age questions leaders ask is“How do I motivate my team”?  The answer is not as complex as you may think.  In fact, there are a number of myths associated with the notion of creating and maintaining a happy, productive work atmosphere that warrant scrutiny at all levels of an organization. Ask yourself if any of these apply and what you can do to focus on creating more motivators and eliminate, or at the very least minimize the existence of demotivators.

 Myth # 1: The paycheck is a primary motivator

Although remuneration may initially attract people to a particular job, it isn’t enough to sustain interest, productivity and engagement. In fact, money has never been at the top of the list of workplace motivators, yet is often seen as the key solution in the attraction equation. The allure associated with the overall salary package is tangible and short-term. For leaders, providing a pay cheque may be easier than finding the energy to truly connect one-on-one with everyone on a team. Moreover, when individuals say that they are at work “just for the paycheck”, they are denying the existence of a fundamental intrinsic motivator; i.e. to be recognized as a person with deeper needs… as someone who wants to know that they matter in the grand scheme of their workplace. They have something valuable to offer their employer and if they are unable to tap into their unique worth, then simply “showing up at work” becomes are drudgery and emotionally dissatisfying experience.

Myth # 2: Building in more extrinsic motivators creates a better atmosphere 

While it is true that we are all motivated by different things outside of ourselves, the more useful approach for a business in terms of achieving a highly inspired atmosphere is to pay attention to the existence of demotivators, as opposed to the absence of motivators. The most common demotivators include working with chronically negative people, (in management or non-management positions) who successfully drain other peoples’ energy reserves. I have found that a lack of action builds resentment amongst those who desperately want their leadership to deal with these people issues. Another popular belief is that by encouraging people to work longer hours in exchange for a more pay (also known as overtime), people will be motivated to work harder. In effect, longer hours justify a slow-down approach to work and do very little to enhance productivity and profitability. The physiological consequences of overtime are heightened levels of stress, which are in fact demotivators rather than motivators.

Myth #3: Happy people remain satisfied and don’t require as much “nurturing”

There is no doubt that contentment regarding ones workplace and job function is a desired state. However, once we have achieved a sense of fulfillment regarding our work, praise and recognition remain critical as on-going intrinsic motivators. We all require different “strokes” in terms of being acknowledged. A wise leader will recognize the differences between those who seek appreciation privately and publically. Validating effort and results is also an individual responsibility, no matter what our job title may be. Peer recognition is a powerful energizer that is often more meaningful than any other form of appreciation, as we often hold the opinions of our co-workers in the highest regard. Therefore, it behooves us to express admiration and applause for a job well done, regardless of our position.

 

Photo By Renjith Krishnan

Outstanding workplace relationships – the key to retention

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Workplace surveys conducted by Manpower Inc. indicate that despite an economic slow-down, there has been a steady increase in the number of individuals who plan to look for new job opportunities. In 2010, the figure was 60%. In 2011, the estimate was 84%! As the year comes to a close, it will be interesting to note whether the trend continued, as well as predictions for 2012 and beyond. Whether the numbers remain consistent, the impact of workforce mobility and knowledge transfer on organizations cannot be understated. The most common reasons cited for leaving or thinking about leaving a job relate to overall job satisfaction, relationship with one’s immediate manager or supervisor and low morale. The cost of turnover will always be significant and on-going, despite economic conditions.

Yet, while it is true that some aspects of an employee’s decision are outside of an employer’s control, the most neglected area of focus in my view relates to the intangible workplace motivators. The highest priority ought to be on building and sustaining outstanding workplace relationships. If employers paid greater attention to developing a deeper understanding of the make-up of their teams, sought to meaningfully improve communication; as well as a create more informal opportunities for people to connect and share ideas at work, a happier and more productive work atmosphere would ensue.  In a nutshell, organizations place an enormous focus on attracting talent. However, once on board, less attention is given to creating an environment where people want to stay and voluntarily contribute to the overall goals and objectives. In my experience working with businesses of every description, the reason many people become dissatisfied in their jobs is because being heard and acknowledged by management and co-workers is an ultimately lower priority than the work itself.  At all levels, everyone feels the pressure of managing their daily workload.  As a result, paying attention to the human element becomes neglected.

I recently worked with a highway maintenance company, presenting on the topic of improving workplace communication. During their weekend retreat, people privately shared ideas to improve productivity by having a different set of tools available on the job that could cut road maintenance costs by one third in their area. Yet, their crew has no influence on the equipment purchasing decision.  From their perspective,  they feel that their hands-on experience could immediately benefit their employers’ productivity and profitability.  Meanwhile, the leadership team may have examined the business case for purchasing different equipment, although their findings or rationale isn’t apparent to the front line. Opening the lines of communication could make a significant difference. When organizations make the time to listen and create more opportunities for dialogue, miscommunication can be avoided, trust builds and relationships become stronger. In the absence of prioritizing greater connection between management and staff on a regular basis, the seed is planted for growing dissatisfaction in the workplace. Ultimately,  a negative outcome may result in a potential loss of talent and experience that is difficult to replace.

Next blog: Why we stay: Ten strategies to improve workplace relationships